The First Meeting

The first meeting has always been the hardest and the most unpredictable.

I was so scared thinking about giving a good first impression.

I read twice, I understood but I eventually forgot about

what I read. I had to be physically and mentally prepared. However, as the date

got closer I became mentally weaker. 

Overthinking describes me well.

And

That first meeting became one of the things that I don't want to remember!

A Student Again

Registered as a student at UPM... ditemani oleh Mak, Ayah, Arid dan Syahin... semua
dokumen yang diperlukan dah sedia... pendaftaran setempat dan berpusat... mudah
dan pantas...tapi karenah manusia yang paling tak boleh tahan...
kesimpulannya memang ada je manusia jenis
yang tak suka memudahkan kerja
orang lain dalam mana-mana
organisasi...

So, sabar je la....

Officially a student!

My birthday is the nation's mourn day

A friend expressed her sympathy to me upon the declaration of 22nd August 2014 

as the nation's mourn day. It is my birthday but I knew that she was just teasing. 

Well, I don't think that my birthday will be any different from last year.

There won't any special celebration whatsoever as usual. 

I will usually spend the day with my daughter either at the shopping mall 

or if I feel lazy I will just stay at home and watch TV.

HEAVEN!

The Sweet & Bitter Taste of Marriage

"This one has has made me cry again after a long time... and there it goes again..."
 

MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. If you are not in a relationship now, remember this for the second (or third) time around. It's never too late.

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. 


~ Author Unknown ~

The Love-Hate Relationship

My daughter is my most precious gift...She has been with me by being more than just a company since I was on my own and she was just one back then...we became intimately close when she turned two...such a small girl with a big heart..she was still young but was not too young to understand how I felt, and to sympathize and show her empathy towards me..how careful she was when uttering her words as she didn't want to hurt my feelings... she has tolerated a lot with me, who should have been the one to put up with her..

I recently snapped putting up with her demand...those mean words that came out from my mouth must have hurt her so much...she is normally a steady person with a cold heart when dealing with my rage..but that day when she cried made me regret.. I swore that I would not repeat those words again and how I wished I could take back those words even though I realised that the damage had been done and there was not point of crying over the spilt milk..

My daughter is my friend and also my foe...this love-hate relationship will continue but I hope that along the way, we both manage to put our differences aside and strive to keep the love alive... no one knows us best to judge us as much as we have known each other...

Madness!!

Dah berminggu2 aku rasa bengang dan geram..geram dengan sesetengah manusia yang menyombong tak bertempat..suka buat sesuatu semata2 nak sakitkan hati orang lain sedangkan aku pun tak teringin pun nak kacau hidup dia..bila ditegur sentap langsung tak boleh terima..bila buat tak tau plak dia mulalah sakitkan hati kita..This is totally crazy & intolerable!!, Madness is revolving!!! Stay out of my way!!!

That moment when you realised that you have just made the biggest mistake that would change your future forever... The taste was bitter!

The good cop, the bad cop & the road thug...

When I was little, going to the post office or any other government counters was a scary experience for me..it was simply because of the unfriendly and cold services offered by the counter officers in those places..I'm pretty sure that many others had the same experience as I had too.. Fortunately, things are getting better nowadays..you can expect smiling faces of the counter officers waiting to serve you..eventhough sometimes they look so unreal with fake smiles..

Syahin's 9th Birthday!

Celebrating Syahin's 9th birthday outdoor.. We took her on a tour around Melaka... Had lunch @ Secret Recipe... watched two movies.. shopped 4 some new clothes... went on the revolving tower ride followed by a beca ride and finally the Melaka River Cruise... All in ONE day!

The Pre - Celebration

We celebrated Syahin's birthday a day earlier with her cousins.. As usual, I cooked most of the dishes.. This year's was a bit special I guess.. The party was full of people, glitters & dangling ornaments, and undoubtedly colourful scrumptious food!

The New Kitchen :(

This is the new kitchen which I am not so happy about for several reasons.... first, the delayed work... second, the messy finishing and quality of work done, and finally the worst is the bad experience I had with the so-called professional contractors!!!! Such ignorant & arrogant people!! 

Kitchen Extension Progress 3

Stage 9 : Wiring, Fitting, Piping....

Kitchen Extension Progress 2

Stage 6 : Tampal simen dinding (Plastering)

Stage 7 : Roof Beam

Stage 8 : Pasang atap genting & Ceiling luar,.... (Roof Installation & Fitting Window n Door Frame)

Kitchen Extension Progress 1

Stage 3 : Ikat besi (Strengthening the structure)

 Stage 4 : Curah simen cara mudah (Cementing process)

Tunggu kering....

















Stage 5 : Batu blok tiba... (Unloading the bricks)

Kitchen Extension Project

Date Started : 02/03/2013
Cost : RM10 500.00 ++
Project : Kitchen Extension + Simple Table Top

Stage 1 : Pecah batu (Demolition)

Stage 2 : Piling (10 batang tiang batu)

Tasha Manshahar - Cuba Teka (Busking) | Original #CloraStudio

Samsung Tab tak boleh on?? This is the solution..

This happened to me twice... I managed to solve the problem at first but when the problem persisted for the second time, the previous solution didn't work out... So, as I was googling for solution, I came across this blog kidzhouse.blogspot.com which provides the solution... 

So, if this ever happens to you, what you can try is :-  

Step 1 - Connect tab dgn charger.... 

Step 2 : Tekan on button & sentuh screen beberapa kali dalam 30 seconds...  

Step 3 : Lepas button & battery charging icon will appear... 

:) Thanks to the solution provider!!

Aku Yang Berdosa - SHAHIR

IELTS??

I decided to take the IELTS test this year.. with no intention of going to the UK or Australia.. it was just for fun (since I got an 80% discount for the preparation class!) and hope to brush up my English.. The class is conducted in Ampang  which means I have to travel there on weekends for classes / workshops and mock-up tests..

The First Day of Ramadhan

This year's Ramadhan was a sad start... Received the news of the passing of an ex-student that morning.. Taught him two semesters ago.. it was sad to hear that his death happened during his practical... Al-fatihah.. In the afternoon, another bad news struck when my cat died of sickness.. Kenit had been a faithful companion.. Could still remember the day I found it and brought it back.. it was so little that we decided to call it Kenit.. I love u & miss u so much Kenit.. I know that you'll have a better life up there... Wish to see you again one day... :(

Dear Kenit,

I may not always act like you're important in my life, but you are.. How I wish I could treat you better when you were alive... :((